The Eyes Have It
There is a wonderful new website you must visit. Like counterbalance, it is published anonymously, and also like counterbalance, it has some insight into Fylde's political scene. It's a humorous political satire, and it might even turn out to make up in wit what it misses in accuracy.
You can find a link to it from the website of Fylde Conservative Cabinet member and Wesham Councillor Simon Renwick, or you can click the link at the end of this piece.
Emulating the Tolkien trilogy, (and borrowing heavily from many of the characters) it claims to be the diary of an elf (or possibly a diary of several elves since it calls itself "An Elves Diary")
But it's not an everyday story of countryfolk like the fictional Hobbits (or even the Archers).
Rather, in the lead up to May's election, it plans to recount the story of an epic struggle for the heart of Fylde,
featuring the hero "Aragon" (presumably intended to be Tolkien's Aragorn rather than a previously unknown relation of Queen Catherine) portrayed by Cllr John Coombes, Leader of the Council of Elves.
In this struggle he is supported by (amongst others) "Gimil" (presumably intended to be Gimli, the coarse and uneducated dwarf) portrayed by Cllr Tim Ashton.
Both are pitted against the evil Saruman (spelt correctly this time) portrayed by Cllr Paul Hayhurst, styled as Leader of Fylde Independent Group, but here recast as Commander of Fylde's Dark Forces.
The diary also claims counterbalance to be a deadly weapon in the hands of the all-seeing, all-knowing Eye of Sauron, who (it says) was a "Brave Defender of Fylde and Elve Lieutenant, but who was drawn to the dark side and now plots his revenge....."
Here the analogy seems to be drawing rather more heavily from Star Wars than Tolkien, (because according to Tolkien, Sauron was never an elf, or anything quite so lowly as an elf Lieutenant. He was created many thousands of years before the beginning of the First Age, and endured for at least 16,000 years) but hey, elves obviously don't worry too much about letting accuracy get in the way of a good story.
So it seems as though the new website might be a sort of counter-counterbalance - which we take to be quite flattering really - especially when it knows us to be an all-seeing, all-knowing, deadly accurate force!
And although some of the grammar is a bit askew, and spelling obviously isn't important to elves,
there are some wonderful pictures, so who's bothered? - Writing is only for grown ups that can't read the pictures anyway!
We could say we agree that come the election, the Commissar is going to have an epic struggle on his hands, with or without help from elves, poison dwarfs and the like, but that might be thought churlish, so we won't.
We hope you enjoy the website An Elves Diary - The Battle for Fylde
Dated: 12 February 2007